iKnow Everything Has Changed
by icywhisperingkiss
Summary: One year after leaving Seattle for Italy, Carly is going home- but nobody knows. After a hard time of keeping contact with her friends and family back in the USA, what surprises will be waiting for her when she returns? And will they be good or bad? *Sucky Summery, I know. But read it please?*
1. Going Home

**I stood on the balcony, looking down at the city of Florence. My eyes stung from the crying I'd done the night before. I thought it was funny how only a year ago- almost exactly- I'd had such a hard time deciding to come. Because when I was standing on that balcony, I was having such a hard time leaving.**

**I felt a hand on m shoulder. Turning my head, I spotted my dad standing behind me, his eyes wet.**

**"It's beautiful." He said, staring at the sunrise. **

**It was. It was more beautiful than something that could be captured in a picture. It was more beautiful than something could be remembered. It was an experience.**

**"Dad…" I started, not knowing how to finish. I didn't even understand what I was trying to say. But whatever it was, my dad understood. **

**He wrapped me in a hug, letting me cry out the few tears I had left. He cried too. I felt it through my hair. **

**"I'm going to go start the car." He said, sniffling quietly as he turned quickly and headed for the door. I wasn't offended that he left so quickly. He was a colonel. He was trained to be tough and not show weakness. Crying isn't acceptable to them.**

**I took one last look at my beautiful Florence and went back into the house, navigating myself through the halls to my room. **

**Abigail Dixie was my best friend in all of Europe. Her father worked closely with my father. We met when my dad went on a submarine for a few weeks and asked Abigail's mother to watch in on me. We became friends fast, and since they lived only a block away, we hung out all the time. **

**She had stayed over the night before, and both of us had cried and eaten frosting and watched sappy movies to make us cry harder. By four AM, both of us had determined that we were pathetic and put on The Lion King, but we'd forgotten that Simba's father died. Talk about a disappointment. **

**Now, she was standing at the foot of my bed, wiping her eyes and trying to put on a smile.**

**"Good morning." She said cheerfully.**

**I shrugged. "Well. It's morning, at least."**

**Tears sprung into her eyes, causing her to use her sleeve as a tissue again. **

**"Come on." She said, forcing a laugh. "Are you going to make me carry all of your stuff?"**

**We rolled out my bags to the front door, letting my dad help us load them into the truck. We lowered ourselves into the small car and rolled down through the city. As each place I'd visited passed, I began to feel more and more upset. I asked myself, '****_why am I so upset? I wasn't this upset when I left Seattle.'_**

**I couldn't answer myself.**

**The airport was packed with people. Many were crying. Some traveled alone. Most wore brave smiles with tearstained cheeks and vacant eyes. We were like the third group of people.**

**They helped check me in, and check my luggage in. We walked through the airport, looking for my terminal. When we found it, all of us exchanged a nervous look and stopped. **

**"I guess this is it." Abigail muttered, looking at her shoes.**

**"Hey, I'll see you in Seattle soon." I said. "You've got to come meet Sam and Freddie."**

**"And Gibby too?" **

**"Gibby too."**

**We hugged like best friends should; squeezing the life out of each other. Then… my dad.**

**"I'll miss you princess." He declared, grabbing me in a hug. I held him tightly and said, "I love you dad."**

**"I love you too Carly."**

**He let me go.**

**I left.**

**Going through security was long and tedious. I kept from crying in front of the strangers until I was walking up the connecting tunnel that led to the plane. An elderly woman asked me if I was okay, and I told her I was. It was normal for people to cry when they moved somewhere else. But… I already lived in Seattle. Seattle was my home, and I was going back. Why the heck was I so upset?**

**I sat in the window seat near the front of the plane, over thinking everything. Especially Freddie.**

**I'll admit. I had a ****_major _****crush on him when I left. And honestly, the year apart had only made it worse. **

**I thought about him all the time. I kept him as my wallpaper on my pear phone. Heck, I even went through all of our old pictures dozens of times a week. I always stopped at the same one.**

**I pulled out my laptop and set it on the tray in front of me. With a few clicks, there it was.**

**It had been taken a year before. When Freddie and I were almost a thing.**

**It was at school, or, outside of school. Somebody had taken a picture of what was supposed to be a private moment and threatened to blackmail us, but at the time, we were both content at the idea of people seeing us couple-ish.**

**Freddie had been leaning against the wall, lifting his broken leg off the ground a little. His in-tact arm was wrapped around my waist, and his lips whispering something in my ear. I was smiling and holding his hand at my waist, my side against his chest. We both looked so happy.**

**The truth was, I never had gotten over him. Or, I thought I did, but that wasn't the case. It was so hard for me to let him go that I just pretended like I had no feelings for him so eventually it would be like that. But it never was. **

**I fell asleep looking at pictures, only to wake up hours later and be bored out of my mind for the remaining nine hours on the flight. **

**Once the plane had landed, I had stopped moping over leaving Italy and was then super excited to be back home. **

**I picked up my bags at the baggage claim and ran out the front doors of the airport, calling a taxi. The woman who drove the taxi helped me load them into the trunk and took off after I told her to head to Bushwell Plaza. **

**I was practically bouncing when I opened the ground level doors. Lewbert screamed at me, "What are ****_you _****doing here?!" I ignored him.**

**I ran into the elevator and hit the button for the apartment, closing my eyes and smiling all the way up.**

**When the big metal doors opened they revealed….**

**Spencer in a fitting suit and tie in the kitchen, passionately kissing a red head in a little black dress…**


	2. Realization

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own iCarly, blah, blah blah...**

I stared for a moment, watching the couple with curious eyes, as if this was the first time I'd ever seen someone kiss another person. Then, snapping back into my senses, I coughed, trying to alert them that I was in the room, but it didn't work. I coughed again, and still, nothing. So I clapped my hands together as loudly as I could and shouted, "Hey Spence! Easy on the lips for a minute!"

My big brother looked great. He had a classic black tuxedo on with a white collared shirt and plain black tie. He'd cut his hair short again, but at that moment he'd spike it up in the front.

"Carly?" He shouted confusedly, running to me and attacking me in a Spencer bear hug.

"No, it's your cousin Pat from Rhode Island." I joked in a deep voice. He spun me around twice before setting me down and smiling hugely.

"What're you doing here?" He asked.

I smiled ad shrugged. "I wanted to come back and surprise you."

"How come you didn't tell us?"

"That would defeat the purpose of surprise." Nudging him with my elbow, I pointed to the woman in the kitchen saying, "Want to introduce me to your friend, Spence?"

"Oh, right!"

He ran over to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"This is my girlfriend, Aubrey."

I was shocked. "Aubrey? Like, your one true love Aubrey?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Well if it wasn't I would be pretty embarrassed. But, yes."

The woman, Aubrey, smiled and held out her hand.

"It's nice to see you again Carly. You were just a kid when I first met you and now… You're all grown up!"

_'Yup,'_ I thought. _'I approve.'_

"So, what's going on? Where are you both going?" I asked.

Spencer looked back and forth between us awkwardly.

"Well, Aubrey has a music gig tonight at the Olive Pitt. I was going to go watch her, but Aubrey, if it's okay with you-"

"No. You go and enjoy yourself. I'm not going anywhere. I'll bug you some other time."

Spencer smiled but bit his lip cautiously. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely!" I confirmed. "Besides, I'm jet lagged. I need to sleep for…" I glanced at my watch. "The next fifteen hours to get back on schedule."

The happy couple watched as I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a can of peppy cola.

"Spence, I'll go grab my purse from our room." Aubrey said, barely loud enough for me to hear, but I did. Once she had left the living room, I turned to face him with my shocked expression plastered to my face.

"_Our _room?" I questioned. He scratched at his gelled up hair nervously.

"Yeah, I guess you should know… Aubrey lives here."

Well. That's a great way to say it. (Not.)

"What? For how long?"

Spencer took a drink of _my _peppy cola and tilted his head.

"Um… Forever?"

I swear, my eyes bugged out of my head a little bit.

"Aubrey and I… We've been going out since you left."

"I thought she lived in a different state."

"It was long distance. But she decided to move back to Seattle a few months ago. It was going to be temporary, but now-"

"Okay." I said, a little frustrated. "But why didn't you say anything when we talked on the phone? Or you could have emailed…"

"We haven't really talked since then."

Aubrey came back into the living room with her clutch in hand.

"Carly, are you sure-"

"Yes! Go!"

For good measure, I grabbed my two suitcases and my backpack and made my way to the stairs. I heard them mutter a few happy words as they made their way out of the front door. I worked on dragging my bags up to my room. A few curses were said, and a lot of grunting, but I made it up. When I did, I froze in my doorway.

It was exactly the same. When Spencer said it had been untouched, it was 100% true. It was perfectly clean, perfectly organized, and decorated funky ; just the way I liked it.

I set my bags down, ran down and grabbed the rest of my bags, dragging them behind me again. Once upstairs, I brushed my teeth, tugged on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, and jumped into my bed. (Yes, I jumped using the trampoline.)

I swear, once I fell onto my bed, I passed out. Being back in my old bed was amazing. I slept without dreams, and without waking up all night.

But when I did wake up, things were oddly quiet. There wasn't the familiar sound of metal clashing, drills running, and screams that said, "Carly! Call the fire department!"

I pulled my hair up into a bun and checked my pear phone. No texts, no missed calls. The clock read 10:15 AM.

I ran down the stairs and towards the unfamiliar silence. But I was greeted entirely differently.

"Welcome back Carly!"

I stepped backwards on the stairs, looking down at Spencer, Aubrey, T-bo, Gibby, Mrs. Benson, and Guppy. But where Sam and Freddie were, I wasn't sure…

"I missed you guys so much!" I screamed, running and tackling Gibby in a hug. T-bo gave me a coupon for a, _buy 10 smoothies, get the 11__th__ one 20% off!' _coupon, Guppy told me, "Happy birthday!" And Mrs. Benson wouldn't hug me until I confirmed that, yes, I did get my shots before crossing over the border to America.

On the table, there was a stack of pancakes, two huge bottles of syrup, a house made out of bacon, and a bouquet of fruit.

"This is great." I told them, trying to sit down, but Spencer pulled me up by my shoulders and guided me to the chair Gibby was now tying a dozen balloons to.

We ate breakfast, talking about everything that had happened in Italy. And I mean _everything. _I told them about Europe, school, Abigail, dad, and basically, my general life. Until finally, I had to ask.

"Where's Sam and Freddie?" I asked nonchalantly. I assumed the group had done something stupid, like bake them in a pie.

But everyone looked at each other nervously. When Mrs. Benson asked Spencer to explain, I realized something was seriously wrong.

"Carly… This is hard to say."

I bit my lip.

"See, the thing is-"

"Wait, Guppy? Would you like to go to my house?" Mrs. Benson asked. "We can visit Freddie."

"Freddie's over there?" I said, standing. "Where?"

Mrs. Benson, without further word, turned and led Guppy out of the house. Spencer followed me to the door, holding me back from going across.

"Carles, wait. Something- something happened."

I looked up at him and tried to stop myself from freaking out. His expression alone was agonizing to see.

He shooed the other people out of the room. Gibby, T-Bo left through the kitchen door. Aubrey came and went into Spencer's- or sorry,- _their _bedroom.

We sat on the couch. _'Great', _I thought_. 'My first sit down since I got back.'_

"Freddie… He changed after you left. He and Sam stopped hanging out after a month. All summer, we didn't see him a lot. He came and went, and the only times I talked to him was in the hallway when he was getting home."

"What happened." I asked again, my voice anxious and breaking.

"Five months ago, they busted him for buying drugs."

He gave me a minute for that to sink in, but it never really did.

"He was arrested, and cleared since it was his first offense. They put him in therapy for a couple of months, but that didn't help, I guess. They found some more drugs on him two months ago. He stayed in prison for a week before being released. And three weeks ago, he-"

Spencer's voice cracked a little. He'd always loved Freddie. He thought he was a good influence on me since Sam was so… Sam. Freddie was like the little brother Spencer never had.

"He OD'd on some depression meds, and when he woke up, he started to confess."

"To what?"

"To… Everything. They found Meth under his bed. He'd stolen some cash from a store with a couple of other high school guys. There were beer bottles in a mini fridge he kept in his closet, porn on his computer, and…"

"And..?"

"He's gotten a girl pregnant. She's three months along now. He's under house arrest for a year."

Carly felt sick. This was like some movie plot, not her best friend Freddie. Not innocent little 13 year old Freddie who'd never kissed a girl. Not 15 year old Freddie who'd saved her life. This was a different guy.

"Where's Sam?" She asked, crying. Spencer wrapped his arm around her.

"Sam's gone, Carly. She ran away after her mom died."

"Pam's dead?"

"I'm sorry, kid."

I couldn't speak.

**Wow… First two chapters and two cutoffs in a row? I'm more ruthless than I thought I was. ;)**

**The magic number is 667. That's 667 viewers since early Saturday morning. 37 followers, 13 favorites, and 12 reviews. 12! Thank you all SO much who reviewed! I am seriously on cloud 9 here!**

**Anyway, it's Tuesday morning and I'm going to make sure I update every Tuesday morning at least, unless something crazy happens. **

**So was it not was you expected? Turns out innocent little Freddie isn't so innocent anymore. And where's Sam? And Pam's dead? How'd she die?**

**So I rated this story T for a reason. It's going to be dealing with some serious topics. Drug addiction, theft, alcoholism, bullying, teen pregnancy, and some mild sexual references. (VERY mild, but they will be there.) Also… I may or may not go in the direction of kidnapping.**

**Check out my other story! It's a Harry Potter fanfiction called, Red Snow. It's Dramione, which I know a lot of people hate, but could you try it? I'd love my IKEHC babies to convert to RS as well :)**

**Private Message me your ideas! I'd love to know if you have some crazy plot twist idea, and I know 2 chapters isn't a ton to go by, but there's a big chance if you send me an idea I'll publish it!**

**And one last thing… I'd like to know what you guys are thinking of the story, so REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Please! And what did you guys get at black Friday? Anything crazy? I got a HP Compaq computer J It's blue and I named him Harry. (Yes, Harry the laptop. Don't judge!)**

**Love you all!**

**~icywhisperingkiss**


	3. Seeing Freddie again

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I stood in the Benson's hallway, waiting as Mrs. Benson punched in the code that would open Freddie's door. I wasn't sure what I'd see in there. What I found was a lot worse than what I expected, though.

It was entirely different than the last time I'd been in his room. His walls were now a dark brown, he had no posters up, he didn't have anything on his dressers, and actually, he only had two dressers and his bed, and a TV mounted on the wall above the door. The rest was empty.

He was laying on his bed, his eyes closed and hair looking perfectly disheveled, with ear buds in his ears listening to something hard rock and loud. Even his appearance was different. He was wearing a tight black cotton shirt and baggy skinny jeans. Socks but no shoes.

"Freddie, you have a visitor." Mrs. Benson said quickly. He didn't hear her. Or if he did, he didn't respond. She sighed and turned to me.

"When you want to leave, push that button and I'll come let you out."

"Okay. Thanks Mrs. Benson."

She exited through the door, letting me hear it bolt behind her. Without a moments delay, I ran up to him and attacked him in a hug.

"What the he-" He began. I pulled away and smiled at him. "Carly?"

The way he looked at me was weird. It was like he was trying to make me not so disappointed in him- as if I was disappointed. I was only hurt that no one had told me.

"When did you get back?" He asked casually, sitting up and leaning against his headboard.

"Last night at ten." I told him.

"I'm glad you're back."

I nodded awkwardly and looked at the ground.

"Spencer told you?" He asked casually. I nodded again.

"Let me explain."

"Okay, explain."

I didn't mean to come off as frustrated, but all of a sudden, I was.

"Can you explain getting addicted to crack and meth? Or the alcohol? Or what about that girl you knocked up."

He smiled. "Carly… Did Italy get you going bad-A?"

I shook my head at him. "Explain."

He frowned. "No. Not now. Not until you chill out about all of this."

"What's wrong with you? Don't you get that what you did was wrong?"

"Yeah, maybe I do, maybe I don't. It's my problem, not yours."

He stood next to me, shouting back at me. I was seriously ticked.

"It is my problem too!"

"Why?"

"Because you were my best friend, and now you're this guy I don't even know!"

"I'm still Freddie!"

I stomped over to his door and pressed the red button.

"Carly, wait."

"No."

"Please? I'll explain. Don't leave. Please."

His voice came across soft and desperate. Still not the Freddie I knew. I leaned against the wall next to the door.

"Are you not allowed to leave your room?"

He shook his head. "I should be allowed all over the building, but my mom's freaked that I'll try to kill myself again. She already took everything that could be any threat. Even my socks. Now I've got to wear these."

He pulled up his pants and showed me his ankle socks. They were black and made his foot look cute… I had a mini heart attack. Was I so bad that I thought his feet were cute? Yes? Oh my gosh.

"I'd be freaked too." I admitted.

He stepped forward. "Are you going to ask why I did it?"

"No."

"Really?"

He took another step closer. My heart started to pound.

"Why'd you do it." I asked softly.

He tilted his head, but didn't take his eyes off of me for a second.

"I thought you weren't coming back."

He kissed me. I missed his lips.

I wondered why the heck I was kissing him. Seconds earlier we'd been screaming at each other, and now…?

I couldn't help but notice he'd gotten better at kissing too. Probably happened when he was high or drunk, but he must have had a lot of practice.

His hands found their way to my waist, and mine to his neck. While I ran my fingers through his hair, he was doing something… I didn't realize what it was until I felt his hands in my back pockets of my jeans.

"Freddie!" I shouted, breaking the kiss. He gave me a look.

"What?"

"Why'd you stick you do that?"

"Do what?"

He was looking genuinely confused.

"You know… With your hands?"

He looked even more confused. "What's wrong?"

"It was totally inappropriate."

"So when you were dating Griffin, it wasn't totally inappropriate to make out in his bedroom?"

I scowled. "How do you know that?"

"Griffin was one of the guys I used to smoke with. A lot of stuff would come out when we'd be high."

It was weird how comfortable he seemed talking about it.

"That's entirely different."

Mrs. Benson opened the door. Freddie rolled his eyes at his mother and walked back to his bed, flipping his pear phone on.

"I'll come by tonight." I promised. He gave me a salute.

"I'll be here. Hey, will you bring pizza? And some crack?"

Mrs. Benson huffed. "Freddie, we talked about these rude jokes_. 'Those who joke about drugs and alcohol never ever progress at all.'_"

_'Only Mrs. Benson, ' _I thought.

Freddie winked at me before putting his headphones in.

"How'd it go?" Mrs. Benson asked after shutting the door.

I shrugged. "It was okay."

"You're coming by tonight?"

"Uh-huh."

"Alright. I'll make you fish loaf."

I told her that sounded alright, and walked out into the hall, leaning against the door.

What had just happened?

"Spencer, I'm going over to Freddie's."

"Be home by ten. And be careful."

"Will do."

I smiled at my brother before grabbing the pizza box and 2 liter of soda.

Mrs. Benson answered the door, took one look at the food, and shook her head.

"My Freddie's not going to have that."

"C'mon Mrs. Benson." I pleaded. "He's been good. He deserves a treat."

She grudgingly let me in, making me smile. After punching in the ridiculously lengthy code to get into his room, the door swung open. This time, he was sitting on a beanbag, watching the T.V. As soon as the smell of pizza wafted on over to his side of the room, he perked up and smiled.

"Freddie, I expect you to behave." She told her son. "I'll be checking in on you both in a bit."

There was that overprotective mother voice. I wondered how Freddie could've snuck drugs into his room without her knowing.

"You brought pizza, I've net Netflix. This is one hell of a date." He said, laughing.

"Freddie, don't curse."

He took the pizza box from me and smiled as he jumped onto his bed. But his expression faded when he saw me staring at the bed.

"What?" He asked.

"Can we sit on the floor?"

"Why?"

"I'd be more comfortable. "

He shook his head. "Same old Carly."

I realized I forgot cups.

"Let me go call your mom-"

"Why can't we drink it out of the bottle?"

I gave him a look.

"What? Is it too barbaric for you?"

"No… Fine. Give it to me."

I unscrewed the cap and took a swig.

"Drink up." He laughed out. I scowled at him and stole the remote off the bed, flipping the cannel off of NCIS, and onto my favorite soap opera, Girly Cow.

"Come on." Freddie groaned, trying to take the remote away from me. I sat with it below my legs.

"Eat your pizza. C'mon, I paid twelve dollars for it."

"Fine, if you shut off the da-"

"Don't curse."

"Dang show." He finished, correcting himself. "Please?"

I, annoyed, flipped the channel to Psych.

"So tell me about Italy." He said, once he finished his pizza.

"It was good." I stated, not really thinking about Italy… I was thinking more along the lines of, _"I want to kiss him…" _

"A little more detail maybe?" He joked. I smiled and rubbed my hands together, shaking the crumbs into the corner of the pizza box.

"I went to a good school there. I made some friends. I spent a lot of time with my dad. So… yeah. It was good."

Freddie took my hand. "Is something wrong?"

I wanted to scream, _'How can you expect me to focus when you do… this? Look awesome, and hold my hand, and talk to me like I'm important even though there has to a million other things on your mind!'_

But that would seem too forward.

"I'm fine."

"It's just weird with everything being like this?"

"Yeah."

He looked away, taking his hand off mine. I wished he would have put it back.

"I know that everyone's mad at me." He said. "You don't have to hide it."

"I'm not mad."

That wasn't a lie.

"But you're not okay with it."

Bingo. If only it made any sense…

"It's just a lot to take in. Give me a week and I'll be used to it."

Freddie gave me a sad look. "You won't get used to it Carly. You'll come back twice tomorrow, and twice for the rest of the week. Then you'll come once, and then on and off before you won't come at all. It's what's happened to everyone. It'll never get any easier."

To put it mildly.

**I've decided I'm going to have two update days until further notice… You can expect updates on Tuesdays and Fridays, with some special occurrences where I may get ahead and post an extra chapter just because! Honestly, I think it's crazy weird that people are reading this story and liking it… I just wanted to say what I thought should happen next and it's just taking off! **

**OK, one thing I want to make clear… I've gotten a few 'Seddie' and 'Creddie' reviews. Right now, it's looking like Creddie, right? I'm not sure if it's going to stay that way… I'm still going over possible plot twists in my head. The reason it says Carly and Freddie in the summary thing is because they're the people you'll see the most. So don't get set that this is a 'Creddie' story just yet. We've still got a ways to go!**

**So PM me ideas, follow the story (and favorite it if you're feeling happy) and REVIEW! PLEASE!**

**I LOVE seeing reviews! Some are long, some are short, and every one so far has been so encouraging! **

** Thanks all! Love you!**

**~icywhisperingkiss**


	4. Gibby and the happy couple

Gibby and I walked down the street that same afternoon. He was telling me about his girlfriend, Monique. I tried to be interested, especially since he seemed so involved with her, but I just couldn't stay focused. I thought about what Freddie said over and over. It echoed through my mind like a curse.

Would I end up staying away? Or would I keep going back? Even Mrs. Benson didn't seem to want to go in. I wasn't entirely sure why. Sure, it was a little depressing to see him like that, but he was happy. He seemed genuinely okay with his situation.

"Carly? Are you going to go inside?"

Gibby touched my arm. I realized I'd walked right past the door to the Groovy Smoothie in my restless, mindless state.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

I pushed open the door and sat at the table I always used to sit at with Sam and Freddie.

Sam.

The idea of her running away was driving me crazy. Sam didn't run away. She'd never, ever, _ever _said anything about running away. So why would she do it?

"Hey everybody, look! Little miss iCarly's back!"

T-bo pointed at me from behind the counter. A bunch of people ran up and hugged me, making me blush. Then, finally, the crowd left and Gibby came back with two smoothies.

"Do you think it's going to be like that all the time?" I asked. Gibby shrugged.

"Sure. Maybe. Probably not."

Still the same old Gibby.

"So when'd you think we'll start the show up again?" Gibby asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know. Freddie can't leave his apartment. Sam's gone, but you can be my co-host I guess…"

"Co-host?" He asked. "I love co-hosting."

I nodded. "Yeah, I mean, the fans love you. But I don't see how we're going to answer their questions. I mean, why we wouldn't be in the attic, why Sam's not here-"

"Want a pretzel?"

T-bo stood next to our table, holding a stack of pretzels on a stick.

"We don't want your pretzels."

"Shut up Gibby." T-bo snapped. "Carly," He smiled. "I'll give it to you for five bucks."

I laughed. "Well, I can't pass that up."

I pulled out a five dollar bill and handed it to him, expecting him to hand me a pretzel, but he just frowned.

"I'm gonna need the tax."

"Tax?"

"Yeah, that extra 35 cents."

I rolled my eyes and slapped a handful of coins in his palm. He tossed the pretzel to me and walked off.

"He's so weird." Gibby remarked, myself agreeing fully.

"So what're you doing for school?"

Gibby shrugged. "No clue. I'm thinking about going into cooking school."

"You mean culinary school?"

"Uh, no. I want to be a chef."

"So culinary school."

"I don't know what that is! I just want to go to cooking school!"

"The proper term is-"

"Hey, you two, keep it down." T-Bo shouted even louder than we did.

"Sorry." We both muttered.

"Anyway, I was thinking of acting. I've had a lot of practice, so…"

"Yeah, you'd be a good actress." Gibby remarked, making me smile. "The cowboy and the idiot farm girl- your best work."

I laughed. "Well thanks."

Then, he pulled out a diagram and began to show me the plans for his weasel cage.

Same old Gibby.

"Spencer, get down here!"

"Just a min- Oh God!"

I heard the sound of a fire extinguisher before Spencer came running into the living room.

Audrey and Spencer had asked me to go out for dinner with them. Audrey was wearing a gorgeous purple dress, I wore my tight golden dress, and Spencer wore a suit. When did we become formal people? I'd seen Audrey in sweats and a T-shirt, and never guessed she'd be the type to wear fancy clothes all the time. But once 9:00 AM rolled around, she had pulled on a black pantsuit and heels, and left for work at- you'll never guess- the law office.

Turns out the aspiring singer worked fulltime at a law firm. Crazy, I know.

"Good." Audrey laughed. "We were beginning to think you'd rather burn the house down than go out with us."

"Never."

Spencer drove us in his car- the black civic he'd scored at the lot we'd had an intervention with Neville Papperman at years earlier.

The restaurant was very posh, chic, and totally unlike anywhere I'd dined with Spencer before. We were seated at a table near the window. Immediately following the arrival of our food, Spencer and Audrey looked nervously at each other, and held hands.

"Carly, we want to tell you something." Spencer began. "Something that's going to effect us all."

I tapped the table nervously. I think deep down I knew what he was about to tell me. But I couldn't have been prepared for it.

"Audrey is pregnant."

**I'm so sorry. Like, so, so, so sorry. **

**I auditioned for a play this week and got callbacks. I saw the cast list, and the girl I hate got the understudy. She's a year younger me, and God knows why, but the casting director for the musical cast someone who can't sing. And the girl who has the part can't act. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty well rounded.**

**So I'm pretty much totally pissed.**

**Speaking of which… Have you all seen these three Christmas movies? I'll list them in my favorite order… All three are Hallmark by the way!**

**#1 has got to be, no doubt, Silver Bells. It's about a 16 year old photographer who runs away into New York City and eventually gets very hurt… It's SO GOOD!**

**#2 is A Bride For Christmas. I just saw this one last night, and I can honestly say this movie has the best actors and actresses. Compared to most other Hallmark movies, this one it gold!**

**#3 is Hitched For The Holidays. It's about a guy and a girl who pretend to date for the holidays and eventually fall for each other… It just makes me want to write!**

**Another one I love is The Wishing Tree. My grandmother suggested it, and I seriously has a crush on the lead teenage boy, Drew! Gosh darn it, he's just SO CUTE! But it gets really cheesy near the end…. **

**So check those movies out and tell me which one's your favorite! I love you all!**

**Review! Please! I've had like, 2 reviews on the last one and I really liked that chapter! Please don't let me down… =)**

**~icywhisperingkiss **


	5. Back to Freddie

_Spencer and Audrey looked nervously at each other, and held hands._

_"Carly, we want to tell you something." Spencer began. "Something that's going to affect us all."_

_I tapped the table nervously. I think deep down I knew what he was about to tell me. But I couldn't have been prepared for it._

_"Audrey is pregnant." _

_"Sam, why'd you leave?"_

_She looked angry. "You left. Freddie lost it. Spencer and Gibby both ditched me, and my mom died. Why'd I stick around?"_

_"Where are you?" _

_"Like I'd tell you." _

_Carly cried. "Please come back."_

_Suddenly, her expression softened. "I can't-"_

Carly woke with a start. Her nightmare about Sam had been terrible, and long. Sam had looked beaten down and exhausted, and sounded that way. The dream replayed over and over, each time Carly became more desperate. She wanted her best friend back.

The night before, we'd left immediately. I wasn't mad exactly, but extremely frustrated. So, yeah. I was mad.

I didn't know how Spencer could be _that _irresponsible.

I'd walked straight up to my room and hidden under the covers, pretending to be asleep when Spencer came in. Sure, immature on my part, but really? Just springing that on me in a public restaurant?

"Carly," He'd said, sitting in my bed. "I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know. I get if you don't want to talk, but if you do, I'm here, okay?"

He'd waited for me to say something, as if I'd jump up and say, "Oh, I forgive you! Let me help you pick out nursery colors!"

Yeah right.

I'd stayed silent while he went on to say how he loved me and Audrey already loved me, and they'd do anything to make it up to me. Then, he left.

I took a long shower, thinking about everything again. It seemed like in the three days I'd been here, that was all I did. Think.

After little thought, I took off through the back hallway, and went over to the Benson's .

Mrs. Benson let me in, being oddly casual.

"Hello, Carly. I just made cookies, would you like one?"

Feeling afraid, I said yes and was led through the colorful space and into the functional kitchen.

I noticed Mrs. Benson didn't have as many pictures of Freddie up as she used to. Now, there were more paintings and bought pictures of landscapes.

The cookies looked strangely… normal. I took a bite of one and nearly gasped.

"This is so good." I said honestly.

Mrs. Benson smiled. "Harold likes them too."

I tilted my head and smiled. "Who's Harold?"

She blushed and began loading cookies into a plastic Tupperware container.

"He's a friend of mine. We've eaten dinner together a few times…"

"Like, a date?"

"Oh no…"

I smiled again, my mood being lifted.

"Were you two alone together?"

"Yes…"

"Did you dress nicely?"

"Yes…"

"Is he in a relationship with anyone else?"

"No…"

"Then it's a date! Oh my god, you have a boyfriend!"

I pulled a plate out of the cabinet along with a glass.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting some to take to Freddie."

She gave me a short disapproving look, then softened it.

"Alright… But bring the plate and glass back."

I poured milk into the glass and set a few cookies onto the plate, then walked to the door.

"Mrs. Benson, will you open the door?"

She rushed over and entered a password- this one much shorter.

"I changed the password to antibacterial soap." She explained.

I nodded knowingly and walked through the doorway.

Freddie was standing in the middle of the room, his shirt off and his hair undone. I stopped and turned around.

"Oh, sorry… I just- sorry."

He laughed. "Carly, I'm not naked. Just come in."

I chuckled nervously and turned around, taking a look at him. He had a grey knit shirt in his hands, and pulled it on a minute.

"Enjoying the view?" He asked.

"No… I-"

"It's fine. I know, I've changed. What'd you got?"

I held out the plate.

"Chocolate cookies, fresh out of the oven."

He took a bite and moaned. "God, these are good. You're such an amazing cook."

I shook my head. "Actually, these are courtesy of your mom."

"But… These are good."

"They're awesome." I corrected.

"What's up?"

I hesitated telling him for only a moment, and only because he'd gotten a girl pregnant. I wasn't sure if he'd understand how disappointed I was. What if he thought I was mad at him?

I did tell him. I blurted it out along with everything I was feeling about it, ending with how I couldn't stand to see him waste his entire future with a girl that probably was just using him.

"Whoa, Carly. You're acting like his mother."

I bit my lip. Mother? I didn't want to think about my mother. I _wouldn't_ think about her.

"I just don't get why they'd go and get pregnant."

He chuckled. "It's not exactly something most people plan."

"But you can do things to protect yourself."

This got him a little angry.

"Megan was on birth control. Sure, we were drunk, but we used protection. She's still pregnant, and no matter how much we want to take it back, we've got to deal with the baby."

I suddenly became very interested in the floor. "It's just- you know about why I'm here… Why I'm even alive…"

"Hey, hey, hey." He said quickly, pulling me into a hug. "It's not your fault. I didn't mean it that way."

I couldn't stop the tears. I hadn't even thought about it in so long…

"I just- they didn't want me…"

"Carly, your dad loves you so much."

"But my mom left because they couldn't get rid of me."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

So there you have the truth.

I, Carly Shay, was the product of an accidental pregnancy, and failed abortion.

**So…. I didn't plan this. Like, at all. But as I was writing this on Thursday night, I had to. **

**If anybody's seen October baby, that will explain. **

**I saw that movie and fell in love with it! The idea of something so tragic has stuck in my mind for quite a while, and I'm so excited to finally write about it!**

**Here's the deal. I need reviews. I have like, 60+ followers, so you have no excuse. Are you ready for what I'm about to tell you? This is the ultimate test for if whether or not you're really wanting to read this story or not.**

**I am ransoming the next chapter for 30 reviews from 30 different people.**

**I don't care if it's one word. I don't care if you're just answering my question of the day*, I just want to hear from you! It'll take 2 minutes, that's all! So there you go. No matter how long it takes.**

**I freaking love you all ****_so much! _****REVIEW if you love me at all!**

**~icywhisperingkiss**

***Question of the day- Facebook or Instagram? **


	6. Mission Impossible

Two weeks had passed, and nothing had changed. Audrey was five weeks along, Freddie's Baby Mama was 15 weeks along, and I was a week from insanity. Then, one of the times I'd dragged Gibby to Freddie's, they'd come up with the idea we needed to shoot an iCarly.

"Guys, that'd mean we'd have to explain why Sam's gone, and move all of the props from the attic to Freddie's room, and-"

"No we don't." Gibby said thoughtfully. "We can just say Sam's in prison."

"We're not going to say that." Freddie argued.

"Why not?"

"Because it's… Actually, that could work."

All three of us thought about it for a minute before deciding that was stupid and deciding on saying Sam was on a leave from the show.

"But what about the equipment, and everything?" I'd asked. "It'd take forever to move down here, but I don't think Mrs. Benson would let us take it down here in the first place."

Freddie smirked. "So what if we can convince her to let me go to the attic?"

I was confused. "I thought you couldn't leave-"

"The building. By law, I could go to any apartment in this building, it's just that my mom's scared."

"Of what?"

Freddie and I both gave him a look.

"Oh."

"Good job, Gibby." I said sarcastically. "But how are we supposed to convince her?"

Freddie smiled deviously.

"Here's the plan."

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I stood in the hallway, pulled out my phone, and called the number Freddie had written on the paper.

_"Hello, this is Rory at the Cheesecake Warehouse. How can I help you?"_

I smiled. "Hi Rory. I was wanting to make two reservations for tomorrow night. Two parties of two. And I'd like them both to be on opposite sides of the restaurant."

_"Alright. 7:30 alright?"_

"Perfect."

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Gibby stood in the kitchen at the Benson's house. Mrs. Benson frowned quizzically at him.

"You want me to… what?"

"Go to the Cheesecake Warehouse tomorrow night. We thought you should have a night off."

She smiled warily. "I shouldn't… I need to stay here with Freddie."

"Yeah, well, Spencer wants to hang with him tomorrow anyway, so yeah."

"Well…"

For a terrible moment, Gibby thought she'd say no.

"Alright. I'll call Harold. Thank you."

Gibby left feeling overly satisfied.

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The night of came, leaving Freddie, Gibby, and I nervous as could be. Freddie stayed at home, of course, but Gibby and I were both at our houses getting ready.

I went into my room and searched for hours for the right outfit. I settled on a peach colored dress that fell just above my knees. It was strapless with a satin belt that ran along the rib cage with a matching flower. I wore a pair of white heels and a white cardigan with brown leather jewelry. I curled my hair into small loose curls, and did my makeup as natural as possible.

The doorbell rang at 6:15. Gibby was at the door, grinning in a black suit and bowtie.

"You ready?"

I smiled deviously. "Ready."

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We sat at a little square table in the center of the view in perfect view of everyone else. Our plan failed epically before it really began.

We were supposed to sit in a booth in the back of the restaurant, hiding behind menus until the time came when we were leaving, and walked by Mrs. Benson and Harold. Then, we'd make casual conversation and then bring up the subject of Freddie. After that, it'd be hard to convince them, but I was sure we could have.

But thanks to the cheesecake warehouse and their deficiency to seat people on a mission, we were stuck at a table in the middle of the room. Like I said. _Epic. Fail._

So when Marissa and Harold came into the restaurant, they saw us and immediately Mrs. Benson knew something was up.

"So what're we going to do now?" Gibby whispered. I shook my head like, 'I don't know,' and headed towards a very suspicious Mrs. Benson.

"What are you children up to?" She asked immediately. I tried to ignore the fact she just called Gibby and I _children, _and smiled.

"When we made your reservation, they offered us 10% off our meal if we booked another table, so Gibby and I decided to come."

She didn't look convinced.

"Carly, Gibby, this is my friend Harold. Harold, these are Freddie's friends, Carly and Gibby."

We shook hands with the man and they invited us to sit with them. They original plan wasn't working, but I didn't think this improvised plan was going terrible. (Yet.)

Okay, I know Harold is about 30 years old than me, but I'll be the first one to admit that Mrs. Benson scored big time. He was a blond haired, blue eyes hunk of a man in a suit. You could tell he had muscles under those sleeves…

"You two run iCarly, right?"

"Yeah, well." Gibby said, frustrated. "I'm just on the show every once in a while. They think I'm," Oh God, the finger quotations came up. "Incapable of handling the web show."

"Do you plan on picking the show back-"

"So Harold…" I interrupted, trying to move past that subject, as that was what we were here to change. "Where do you work?"

"I'm a parole officer."

Oh.

"I'm _Freddie's _parole officer."

_Oh._

This could be more difficult than I thought.

"That's… Cool."

A waitress came and ordered our drinks. Mrs. Benson and I ordered lemon waters, Harold ordered at sweet tea, and Gibby ordered a Shirley Temple.

"Really." I whispered to him.

"What's wrong with it?"

I rolled my eyes and went back to the menu, not really thinking about food. The conversation could either go very good, or very bad _very _quickly.

I didn't bring up the subject until the adults had warmed up a little. I'd made sure to convince them to have a glass of wine, which helped a little.

"So, Gibby and I want to start iCarly back up." I began slowly. The two smiled and said they thought that was a good idea.

"But, we need Freddie to take care of the tech stuff again…"

I waited for that to kick in, but I guess it didn't… They just stared at us, waiting for me to say something else. Unfortunately, Gibby spoke up first.

"Are you gonna let him live a little, or what?"

…

Thank you, Gibby, for ruining our chances.

Then, something surprising happened. And it was Harold that said it.

"If you filmed it at your apartment, I don't see what'd be wrong with that."

Mrs. Benson looked shocked. "Harold, I don't think-"

"Marissa, he's been in his room for a long time. He's looking good in therapy, and I think a change of scenery would be good for him."

"But what if-"

He took her hand and smiled. "Trust me. I've seen a hundred cases like him and all have been successful."

I took a bite of my chocolate chip cheesecake and smiled.

Victory was sweet.

**So… I'm back with this one! I'm sorry about asking for reviews.. Apparently that means I'm an egotistic senseless writer with no sense of compassion or mercy (or at least that's what some people said..) So I'm not going to do that again because honestly, with the nasty things some people were saying, I developed a sense that I don't want to write at all. But I love to write, and I have a good idea of where I want this story and the next story to go. So don't worry! I'm not going to drop this one! Please Review! The 123 reviewer will get a special message in their inbox! (23 is my favorite number!) And thanks to everyone who**

**~icywhisperingkiss**

**Question of the day- Seddie or Creddie? (This won't affect the decision I've made on the pairings for this story… =)**


	7. iCarly Again

"And in 5, 4, 3, 2…"

"Hey!"

"I'm Carly!"

"I'm Gibby!"

"And this is iCarly!"

Gibby and I danced around in a circle shaking our fists and pretending to be old people.

I'd forgotten how much I'd missed iCarly.

"Hey guys." I said more seriously. "We really missed you all. I know it's been a while, but I hope you'll all watch the show like you used to. There have been a few changes…"

"Sam's taking a break." Gibby said.

"And Gibby's stepping in."

"But for now…"

The audio clip for random dancing turned on. Gibby and I jumped around. I felt like a kid again. With Freddie behind the camera, and the attic looking like its old self… It was just amazing.

We went through the show doing the old skits and videos like the cowboy and the idiot farm girl, vocabulary words with Gibby, and what am I licking.

"Thanks for watching everybody. This has been, iCarly."

"And we're clear."

Freddie set the camera down and clapped.

"Well done, you guys." He said, laughing.

It was the day after Mrs. Benson had allowed Freddie to leave his room. We'd buckled down and written a script in my room that day, practiced once, then set off to record it. After a year's hiatus, we didn't waste any time to making a new episode.

Freddie's attitude had improved 100% that day too. He just couldn't stop smiling.

After the show, Gibby had to go home to put his weasel to bed, Spencer and Audrey were shopping for the baby, so it was just Freddie and I alone at last.

I pulled two peppy colas from the fridge and stood at the counter with him.

"So… How are you?"

He let out a big laugh and reached out to hold my hand from across the table.

"You don't have to act so formal."

"I know, it's just something to say when there's nothing else to say…"

He laughed at me again, then got serious.

"Then just…"

"What?"

He kissed me. I wasn't ready for this one.

But we kissed across the counter until I heard someone open the door. Then, we were like magnets- negative to negative. We shot apart.

"Freddie," Mrs. Benson said rushing up to us. "Megan stopped by the apartment to talk to you."

He rolled his eyes and spun around on his stool.

"Why can't she come back some other time? I'm busy."

She gave him an exasperated look before turning around and closing the door behind her. I slid onto the counter and crossed my legs.

"Where were we?"

I chuckled. "Lame line, Benson."

Before he could retaliate, I kissed him again.

And that's just what we were doing three minutes later when Miss. Baby Mama walked into my apartment with Mrs. Benson.

"Fredward Benson!" Marissa shouted. "Come here this instant."

Freddie gave me an apologetic look before turning around and facing his mom.

"What's so important?"

I took a good look at Megan and understood why she'd be the girl to get Freddie. She looked beyond amazing, but was obviously a party girl.

She had on dark blue skinny jeans that were at least two sizes too tight, a flowing white shirt that was an inch lower than it should've been, and a navy blue cardigan. Her shoes? Four inch hot pink heels. A ridiculous height for a pregnant girl.

Her long blonde hair fell down to her chest in big, loose curls. Her brown eyes were covered in eyeliner, and her lips were cherry red.

"Freddie…" She said, her voice breaking. "I- The doctors told me-"

He glanced at me, silently asking me for a minute with her. I nodded and watched him wrap an arm around her and lead her out of the room. Mrs. Benson looked at the ground and rubbed her arm awkwardly. I smiled at her and motioned for her to come over to the kitchen.

"Mrs. Benson, would you like to make cookies with me?"

Sometimes, another smile is enough of an answer as anything.

**You guys, I missed my update day. I'm ****_so sorry. _****We drove far away to a mall, and were there most of the day, so I'm sorry! **

**What'd you think is going to happen? I hoped you'll stay tune to find out what's going on with Megan- and you'll meet Megan! And FWI, the name Megan came to me with no connection with Drake and Josh's Megan. I never watched that show, so I didn't even know! Crazy, right?**

**~icywhisperingkiss**

**Question of the day- Disney channel or Nickelodeon? **


	8. Enough is enough

"Freddie, please just talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

I sat at the foot of his bed, watching him try to sleep. He laid under the covers on his stomach with his eyes closed, ignoring me like it was his job.

I'd stayed at my apartment with Mrs. Benson baking low fat- no sugar chocolate chip cookies. \We'd talked… Which was surprisingly nice.

"It's difficult, because I'm torn between loving Freddie and my grandbaby, and being angry." She'd said. I'd understood completely. The situation between Spencer and I was the same. I loved Spencer, but I was so angry at him for being so irresponsible that it was hard to think clearly.

"Freddie."

He opened his eyes and sat up. His nose was a bit red and his eyes were bloodshot.

"What happened?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't. I hugged him, allowing him to relax and calm down.

"She has twins." He explained slowly, his voice breaking. "One died."

Oh no.

Not good.

No experience.

I just hugged him. There was no use in saying, "I'm sorry," because I'd heard that before and it was pointless. It was an insincere remark that honestly, it made people feel worse.

Nothing I could say. Nothing to comfort him. Nothing to lessen the depression.

_Nothing._

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Freddie and I were sitting in his living room watching The Avengers. It was some six hours after I'd found out about the baby, which made it 10:00 ,give or take. Marissa had gone to the next town over because of some emergency with her sister, and left me in charge of Freddie. So, voila, we watched Iron Man 1&2, and Thor. I picked up the empty solo cups and walked to the kitchen to refill. I heard the door open and assumed it was Mrs. Benson.

Isn't it funny how wrong we are sometimes?

I walked back into the living room, smiling and thinking how amazing life was, only to see Megan sitting on Freddie's lap, making out with him. _And he was kissing back._

I watched for a moment in a daze. How could he be that senseless? How could he forget that while she was out worrying only about herself, _I _was the one comforting him?

I coughed and slammed the drinks onto the table. Megan looked up, wary and annoyed.

"Let's not forget, you've already gotten her pregnant." I growled, grabbing my bag and slamming the door behind me.

Screw trust.

Screw everything.

What everything?

All I thought in that moment was how everything was too hard. Sam, Freddie, babies, drugs, drama… It all sucked. Life sucked.

I ran into the apartment and grabbed a pill bottle out of the cabinet. I pulled out a bottle of beer and cracked it open, gulping down three ibuprofen before stopping. Was I honestly ready to throw my life away on this low note? Was I ready to give up?

I decided, yes.

Then Spencer came in, catching me staring at the beer and pills.

"Did I leave that sitting out?" He asked casually.

"Uh, yeah."

He had bags under his eyes and his hair was greasy. He had a blue stain down the front of his shirt, and sweatpants. Not exactly the kind of guy you would want to be having a baby in a few months.

"I have news." He said excitedly, sitting me down on the counter stool. I looked up at him, wondering what was the big deal.

"This morning, someone saw Sam. They sent this in to the police."

He held out a picture. It was Sam with long hair tied in a ponytail, a red bandana, a white shirt and blue jeans. Of course, her red converse as well.

"They found her? I can see her?"

Every thought of suicide escaped from my mind for ten seconds. Then Spencer responded.

"Not exactly. Kid, they found her. They contacted her, but she escaped."

"Escaped?"

"She and the three guys she was with drove off. They can't find them."

Just my freaking luck.

Screw life.

**Hey people…. I know I haven't updated in a while, and I have a good reason. Um… Okay… So I am doing a sequel, like, right now. I have wanted to do a story like the sequel for so long it's not even funny, and I knew that it would fit in perfectly with this one, but I didn't want to drag this one out any longer, just to get to it. So I'm ending this story and writing the sequel.**

**It's about Sam.**

**Now, I just want to make it clear by the time this story has ended, Sam would have been gone about 6 months. Okay?**

**I know this story is stupidly short, but I really have no other ideas for this one, but it WILL NOT END HERE! I will provide closure in the second book!**

**I should update either today or tomorrow. Today I've got a funeral visitation at noon, then I'm off to a Pacers basketball game tonight. And I want to be writing some music too. (My friend and I are auditioning for the X factor and trying to get on the Ellen DeGeneres show, and I'm v****_ery_**** excited =)**

**I hope you all had a lovely holidays, and I hope you'll all forgive me!**

**~icywhisperingkiss**

**Question of the day- Tom Hiddleston or Tom Hiddleston? (I prefer Tom Hiddleston)**


	9. Chapter one of iDissapear

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**Sam's POV**

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_"Miss Pucket, can you give us any information on the capture of the kidnappers?"_

_ "Can we get closure that the men who are responsible are off of the street?"_

_ "Will you be returning to Seattle anytime soon?"_

_ I pulled my maroon and navy striped beanie over my ears to cover my headphones, and blasted music through my brain, trying to drown out the noise of the reporters. They crowded in around me and the four bodyguards that surrounded me in a box. They stepped in closer, trapping me and making me feel claustrophobic._

_ I felt tired. Vulnerable. Weak._

_ But I didn't want to go home. Not yet, at least. Not after everything I'd been through. The story couldn't end like this._

_ We reached the SUV in relative peace. Toby, the biggest of the guards, sat in the driver's seat with John to his left in the passenger seat. I sat in the middle row next to Laurie, and Nathaniel sat in the second row back._

_ Laurie took a hold of my hand and smiled warmly. Although she was tough to the bone, she was kind and beautiful. A strange mix in a person._

_ "Everything's going to be fine now." She promised. "You'll go home and everything will go back to normal."_

_ As if my life would ever go back to the way it was._

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**Six months earlier…**

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I coughed, loudly and obnoxiously, pulling uselessly on the restraints that tied my hands behind my back. I was in the back of something moving, a blindfold around my eyes, noise proof headphones, and something tying my hands and feet together and to some other parts of the vehicle so I was stretched out on the floor. Not ideal. Not at all.

I'd been knocked out cold on the sidewalk. I'd been crying and soaked, which had made me look too childish. I guessed that's why they'd taken me.

"Hello?" I said loudly. Or, at least, I guessed I was saying it loudly. Seeing as I couldn't _hear myself. _My head pounded at the vibration in my voice, making me wince. And for what? Nothing. I got no reply.

It was hours later that they finally pulled off the bandana and headphones. The bright light stung terribly. I looked around, taking everything in.

I was on the floor in between aisles in a twelve passenger van. There was a college age guy laying on the chair above me, and that was all I could see. I heard voices, though. They came from the front. I assumed we were in the back row of the van.

"We're at McDonalds. What'd you want to eat?"

Wow. Really?

My first impression of the kidnappers was weak. The voice came from the front. It had a British accent, was relatively young sounding, and had a tone of laughing.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. I tried sitting up, but my wrists were tied to the chair leg, and my feet to the door.

"Do you want fries, or something?"

This voice was American, and it came from the guy sitting in the chair above me. I looked at him, taking in his appearance. His hair was cut and styled short, but spiked up in the front. It's funny how kidnappers actually do their hair, right? His eyes were dark brown, and his skin a dark tan. I guessed he was Pakistan, or Egyptian with the American Ethnicity mixed in.

His clothes were pretty rugged, though. I'd later see that _all _of their clothes were. He wore a grey tank top under a torn blue, grey, and white plaid shirt. Grey skinny jeans, and old brown combat boots. But God… He looked _amazing _in them.

"I'm not hungry." I said quietly, closing my eyes. My head hurt so fricking bad…

The van slowed to a stop in the back of an empty parking lot. I was blindfolded and the noise silencers were put back on as they untied my hands and feet and lifted me onto the seat. Then, my hands were promptly tied to the chair with some elaborate rope tie. It left me with my hands at my sides, and my feet tied to the bottom of the chair. They took off the sensory deprivations, allowing me to see all of their faces.

Two had left the van and were walking away, so I could only glimpse at the back of their bodies as they moved along the blacktop. One was a blonde guy in dark blue jeans, a faded purple jacket, black converse, and a grey beanie. From the back (not to sounded perverted), he looked muscular, young, and tall. The other seemed like an older, fat man. He was balding, wore a dirty red sweatshirt, and baggy blue jeans with socks and sandals.

There were four rows of seats in the van. Aside from the guy next to me, there were two others in the car. One sat in the back, and the other two rows ahead of me. The one in the back was an African American with a buzz cut, earring, and attitude. Not to mention his 27 tattoos. He had a black tank top and basketball shorts, which was stupid since it was winter. I guessed he was in his late 20s, maybe early thirties. The guy in front looked about the same age with dark brown hair, brown eyes, and a black jacket. Of all the guys, this one looked most put together. His jacket was the brand, North Face, and his hair was curly and flipped to the side. Kind of like a Harry Styles/ James Marsden look. Not that it mattered.

"Hey."

Hey? When do Egyptian/American/Pakistan kidnappers just say, "Hey?"

"What do you want with me?" I asked, my voice coming across scratchy and foreign. Strange as it was, my eyes filled with tears. I asked myself what was wrong with me. I was never like this.

"Don't cry…" The guy in front said. "You don't have to worry-"

I scoffed.

"We're not rapists, or traffickers, or anything. You look like… Like someone important.

I blinked twice before declaring, "No."

"That's not how it works." I explained. "You're supposed to explain everything _now."_

"Well, we have two guys up at McDonalds and the gas station, and they need to be here."

I rolled my eyes, and stared out the window until I noticed the boy next to me staring at me.

"Do you need something?" I asked, annoyed. He shook his head and looked away, only to resume his gaze a few minutes later. The guy in front flicked the radio on to old rock, and highway to hell came on. Coincidence? I thought not.

After fifteen minutes or so of terrifying waiting, the two guys came back carrying four bags of McDonalds food, a thing of large sodas, and a box of chocolate donuts.

The short, fat man was Mexican with a thick mustache and goutee. He had sparkling, unscary brown eyes, a balding head, and his shirt said, "Keep calm and eat," on the front. From his potbelly, I assumed he did a _lot _of eating.

The other guy? Well…

My heart stopped beating for a moment.

He was that life changing, just at a glance.

**Hey, sorry for taking so long in putting this up! I started a diet, and have spent a lot more time with my family, and things in my life are getting pretty hectic.**

** On Tuesday, I'm starting practice for the musical, on Wednesday I'm starting a bible study, on Thursday I start piano and vocal lessons, Friday I have an old bible study and a basketball game, Saturday I should be rehearsing the national anthem with my friend, and Sunday I have church, and I'll be having sister bonding time, or shopping, or something. And next Tuesday, I start volunteering at the pre-school regularly, so that should be stress relieving. (Not.) And my job? Oh yeah, I'm getting a job next month. I'll try and update weekly, or as fast as reviews get in =) (Hint, hint!)**

** What'd you think? I'm really excited for this story! I'll be combining three story plots I've been wanting to do for a while into one story, so I'm SO ready to start writing more. Warning though, Sam may be a bit out of character, because to be perfectly honest, I don't like the character of Sam on the show. I mean, I like the idea of a tough girl who loves ribs, but the biggest thing is, I really don't like how Jeanette McCurdy portrays her. Sorry people!**

** I can't wait to hear what you all have to say! Please R&R!**

** ~icywhisperingkiss**

** Question of the day- Does anybody know if JB is on drugs? I'm just curious…**

** Confession- Yes, I'm a one direction fan, and the guy that was sitting next to her is based loosely off of Zayn Malik. Whatever.**


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